John's Journal

Rose Madura  Hi John. That's a great question.  OHS is emotional on everyone. I would stay positive and reassure them that the surgery is necessary and that while it may be a rough road ahead, it will be worth it in the long run. I had a different surgery than you and I ran in to a lot of complications that I didn't expect but I feel so much better than ever.  And you can assure them by being confident. You are a good and sensitive man to worry about everyone else. God bless you and please keep us posted. 

James ciecalone  Hi John. I know how you feel. The gamut of emotions you run through can be overwhelming, and they can be even more so with our loved ones. I am TAVR plus 8 days and the family support is critical. You and your family are in the right place here in this community because of the incredible loving people on this site throwing out prayers, experiences, and maybe most of all information. The more you know the less fear can take hold. And I had plenty of that. So prayers to you and family. You got this.  

Erin Bolanos  Please have her reach out to me if she needs support. My husband is undergoing MVP the week of Jan 20th. I am here if she needs someone to talk to! 

Yumiko Ishida  It is tough on both sides… I think the best thing you can do is to acknowledge that we all need support in one form or another. As a patient, there is not much you can do, unfortunately, beyond making sure that your support team has their support team in place. Every relationship is different, but for me, having my mother in law nearby was helpful for my spouse’s wellbeing. Just make sure you don’t neglect your own needs in the guise of “making things easier” for your family. My family was pushing to get me discharged as soon as possible, assuming incorrectly that that is what I wanted. I didn’t argue, sensing that the daily commute was hard on them. Big mistake. I was miserable at home, didn’t ask for help beyond the bare minimum necessary, and was readmitted with an infection 3 days later. By trying to make things easier for others, I made it harder for everyone in the end.

susan harris  Adam mentioned the idea of adding a caregiver section-this is such valuable insight to share!!!!!  just like erin, i am glad to help yourcrr weird! i am mom to 26 yr old son having OHS end of jan. 

Robert Miller  Yeah, you will sleep through it... ;) Joking aside, emphasize to your wife and kids that this is a very safe procedure. And you will have two surgeons there along with all the other staff. And afterwards, you will be constantly monitored. I felt never safer then when I was in the hospital. Having said that, recovery takes some time. Maybe it helps if your wife and kids can help you get things ready when you return. This might take their mind off the actual surgery. Also if you haven't done this yet, read up on recovery. The more you know and can convey to your loved ones, the better they can deal with it. For that, check out the "Learning Center" on this site. https://www.heart-valve-surgery.com/learning-center.php

Jill Reeder  I’m at week 8 recovering from MVR via OHS and my husband has been great. My kids are grown and kept texting him for updates the day of surgery. It took me 9 hours to wake up after the surgery was over. The medical staff wasn’t stressing out so he wasn’t. But, establishing planned communications can be helpful … like every hour or two … so your wife isn’t inundated with texts. 

My brother had the same procedure when he was 45. He had three teenagers. His wife was more stressed than anyone. What helped her was creating charts for him to check off when he had taken measurements, meds, and done his breathing exercises. I think that gave her a sense of control in a situation where there is none. It also helped the kids as they ensured he was doing what he was supposed to. 

Maybe share this site with them. There are so many with positive outcomes, it can help calm the nerves.