About Me (In My Own Words)
Hello Beautiful People :)
My name is Omar. I am a 20 year old college student that loves life and this is my story...
I was diagnosed with a bicuspid aortic valve (leaky) with aneurysm in the summer of 2019.
If you are interested in how I figured it out... well you're in for a different kind of story.
I was in a relationship with a person that I once loved. She was my everything, I would've died for her without even thinking twice. She also has a rebel best friend that didn't want us in a relationship in the first place. Her best friend would manipulate me and play with my mind. I never budged because love, for me, is the most powerful (and dangerous) thing.
Moving on, I had an internship that summer and one day after work I decided to go to the mall. I found out that my ex was already at the mall with her friends. I was literally so happy that I was going to see her, even if it was for a little bit. I planned to see her for an hour or two then leave so I don't disturb her time with her friends.
She ended up telling me to leave the mall, because her friends didn't want me there. I understood her, hugged her, and left.
She ended up breaking up with me that night and when I kept on asking for a reason why.... she never gave me one. She blocked me from Instagram, Snapchat, iMessage, Facebook, EMAIL, AND A freaking MUSIC APP.
I couldn't reach her in anyway... I got a hold of her and found a way to convince her to talk to me a month after. She still didn't give me closure and blocked me again after we talked.
I went through some severe depression...
I couldn't eat, and when I did eat. I would throw up. I lost around 17lbs of muscle and fat doing absolute nothing. I couldn't sleep properly for 3-4 months back to back. I would sleep maybe 1-3 hrs a day if I'm lucky. Sometimes I would go almost 100 hrs without sleeping a single second. When I do sleep, I would cry myself to sleep on a wet pillow covered with my tears. I would get nightmares about her EVERY NIGHT and wake up having a panic attack. I started getting severe panic attacks. Sometimes, 4-6 attacks a day. Occasionally, I would pass out during the attacks and wake up 20 minutes later on the floor. To describe it in detail, for me, it felt like someone was choking me while another person was sitting on my stomach, and while another person is stabbing me in my chest. Every time I did get an attack, I would go to the bathroom or somewhere that was empty of people. I didn't want anyone to know. I was really good at "hiding" during an attack. I didn't think for a second there could be a problem with my heart...
One day, my family and I went out to eat lunch. While we were in the car, we passed by my ex's house and when we did I started feeling a panic attack slowly working its way to me. I started rubbing on my chest because that usually helps me hold off/delay the attack for around 5-20 minutes (depending on how severe the attack is). My mama was sitting beside me in the car and saw me rubbing my chest.
She was like "Why are you rubbing on your chest?"
"Mama, I have hair on my chest, it's normal for me to itch my chest." I said.
"No, you are lying to me...." she said with a worried face
I do not know how she knew, but I guess thats a mothers gift...
I ended up telling her in the car because she made a big deal out of it. After telling her what's been happening with me, I checked it out that same night at a local hospital with my dad by my side.
After doing many tests and the doctor explained everything. My dad and I had a very emotional moment when we first stepped out of that hospital. It was the first time I see him cry ever in my life...
He told me that he wishes it was him instead of me. That's when I knew that my dad would do anything for me.
Fast forwarding to the present, I am doing regular checkups and I am currently on medication. I do feel symptoms every now and then (fatigue, heat racing, chest pains, etc..)
I do eventually have to do a surgery in the future, but the specific date is unknown yet.
It's been the hardest and scariest 1-2 years of my life without a shadow of a doubt. I couldn't imagine what would happen to me. I want to have a good job to take care of my younger siblings and my parents. I am the eldest among my siblings, so I am the one that is going to provide first and I couldn't imagine leaving this world knowing that I didn't provide and take care of my own family.
On the other hand, I am also thankful and grateful, because without my mama. I wouldn't have checked it at all...
I also got over my ex and became mentally stronger. I am eating like a normal person and the only reason I don't get much sleep nowadays is when I am studying hard for my education :')
I am reaching out to you beautiful people on this website because I want to learn more about my condition and want to know what you are all going through as well.
I honestly haven't properly researched/looked into my condition because I was just too scared/anxious to do so.
If you're wondering my ascending aorta is currently 4.5cm
Oh and also in case you were wondering. Its been 1.5 years after the breakup and we didn't make contact to this day and I will be fine if I never did talk to her again in my life....
More Info About Me & My Heart
More About Me
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I am from:
Atlanta, Georgia
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I was diagnosed with:
Aortic Regurgitation
Bicuspid Aortic Valve
Aortic Aneurysm
