Colleen's Journal

I'm sitting here the day before my surgery and I'm trying to keep myself distracted. My husband and both children are gone working so I have my two dogs to keep me company. I'm watching movies and writing my list of contacts for my husband to notify once I'm out of surgery. It's very surreal to know that I have to have heart surgery. I never thought that it would be my destiny and two years ago when I found out that I had been born this way it still didn't really sink in. In all the things in my life this was not one that I thought could be part of my story. But it is a part of my story and I will own it. Yes, surgery is scary but in order to continuing this great life it must happen. It's hard for a type a personality like myself but I have to put my trust in my skilled surgeon's hands and know that God has got my back. So I will try and relax today and know that this is just the beginning. To be honest, while i know there will be challenges I'm looking forward to not feeling sick. The last two months my symptoms have really progressed and this is not how I want to live. I have lots left to do and need a healthy heart to do it. Peace heart warriors, I will see you on the other side. Keep ticking

Just when you get yourself mentally prepared you get your covid test back (not expecting to be positive) and you're positive for Covid and cannot have surgery as scheduled. Yes, I have been sick for a few weeks with a horrible chest cold but all the tests that I took for Covid over the past two weeks have been negative. So I fought really hard to get over my cold without medicine since I was having surgery just to wake up this morning feeling pretty good and positive. I know things happen for a reason so I will get a new date and things will work out the way they need to, but the waiting for challenging so I begin that struggle over again. Peace to my fellow heart warriors so that we have the courage to change what we can change, accept the things we cannot and have the wisdom to know the difference.

Well the date is finally approaching and I have to say that I'm relatively calm at the moment. I'm thankful that I'm alive and have the opportunity to fix my valve and have a chance at a long life. Nothing is ever promised so if surgery is the way this has to be done, then surgery it is. I move forward with lots of support and faith in God. I'm blessed that I have no other issues other than my Aortic valve from BAV so I will be able to have minimally invasive surgery and hopefully healing will be fast. I'm scared, but I know this is done all the time and once I'm on the other side I will be grateful to feel better.