Mary Ann's Journal

One year echo and meeting with my cardiologist. Great! Both the aortic valve and mitral valve are nearly normal, the improvement in my heart function and size are great. So happy, so relieved. I wish you all the good news I got today on your 1 year anniversaries.

One year later. Happier than ever! Planning a trip to Spain, learning Spanish and walking with my pug Mowgli 3 1/2 miles a day. I'm so happy I made the decision to have my surgery last year. I'm back working part time and appreciating every moment of the miraculous gift of life we have been given. It's Valentine's Day every day we can celebrate our new hearts.

I was so heartened to receive responses to my journal. I've never done anything like this. Reaching out to people who have gone through Open Heart surgery felt right and good. I know only one other person in my life who has had this surgery and it's good to know there are people out there who understand. When I first came home and went in public places I made sure my scar wouldn't show. I went on line and shopped for boat neck shirts and buttoned up tops. I didn't want people to stare. I don't know if anyone really did but i just was self conscious about it and didn't want to attract attention. On my first day back at work, I mentioned that to a co-worker whose brother in law had had a valve replacement and she said. "Don't b silly, you should wear that scar like a badge of courage". Hmm. that made me feel better and now, I wear what I want. On the migraine thing, I realize that when I wake up with a stiff neck, tight muscles, the likelihood that I will get a migraine aura is greater. I have to say, being a virgin in this interactive forum I think it's wonderful. This is a great avenue for those of us who have been through this surgery to connect and empathize with each other with support and tips. I thank you all.

I went into my decision to finally have the Aortic Valve Replacement surgery with laser focus. In a matter of 3 weeks, I had dental work done, all the pre op bloodwork, angiogram, etc., etc., met with the surgeon and set the date ..I was so brave. I refused to let my years of fear overtake me. I had put off the surgery for 10 years because I had no symptoms and I was terrified. My cardiologist did not push me but I took it on my self to make the decision. I knew surgery would only become harder and riskier if I waited. Also I was tired of worrying and having the abject fear of surgery take over my consciousness. I'm almost back to my pre op energy and activity and am back to work but I find I'm nervous a lot and anxious. My heart is healthy, I've got a new biological valve I had no complications, or blockages. Why am I anxious? Could it be years of being anxious and now it's done and my emotions are in the habit of being nervous? Also, since my surgery I've had multiple migraine symptoms every week. I've had these symptoms before surgery but now more frequently. The visual auras, not the headaches, thank god. I don't know if that is the result of the assault on my body with the surgery. Or is the anxiety causing it? I think my perspective on life has shifted as well for the better. Facing death and coming out alive I guess can do that for us. First thing out of surgery I looked up and said "I'm alive!" Then fell back into a kind of weird anesthesia trip for 24 hours.