About Me (In My Own Words)
10/14/17. Updated 12/13/17
I've fought idiopathic hypertension since I was first diagnosed at 18. I went on and off drugs due to side effects and allergies. In my 50's I was diagnosed with kidney damage, LVH, and aortic stenosis. At age 61 I had the "Come to Jesus Meeting" with my surgeon and he said it was time.
I had retired from my job as a public administrator and was working as a Personal Trainer and Yoga Instructor. I told him I wanted to wait 2 more years--bargaining--and he asked me, in front of my wife, if I thought it was fair to the people around me to drop dead on the gym floor.
I had my blood work done, my cath procedure showed you could drive a truck through my arteries (long time vegan) and the surgery was scheduled.
I woke up in ICU and asked if this was Purgatory. Pretty close. My wife and the nurse advocated to get the respirator off me as I was struggling and my surgeon came in and ordered it taken off.
I was moved to the floor the next day and continued to go into heart block, was treated and went into afib. Then my oxygen started to drop. The whole time everyone was telling me I was doing just fine.
The cool thing was my priest came in, reached through the tubes and medical personnel, laid hands on me, and my heart went back into normal sinus rhythm. Huge reminder that I am a spiritual being having a human experience.
Things then improved slowly while I jumped through all the discharge hoops and was begging to go home and got released.
I got home. Did my best to follow instructions and I just wasn't getting better. I started rehab but I had no idea what my "new normal" was but now I know I was still going in and out of heart block. The problem was it wasn't happening where anyone saw it. It just looked like I suddenly fell asleep. When I complained to my medical team that something was wrong, I got the double message that I was doing too much too soon yet not doing enough. In any case, it placed the blame on me.
I finally collapsed in front of my wife--dove into my soup--took a trip to the ER, flatlined a bunch of times, spent the night and then had a pacemaker installed. The technician was singing "I left my heart in San Francisco" as I was being strapped down and sedated.
Wounds healed. I returned to rehab and my left arm was swollen. I hoped it was from the flu shot I received in the hospital. Not so. I had a blood clot from the pacemaker and had to have the week of shots in the stomach--given by my wife--and then 3 months of warfarin with all the visits to anticoag.
At this point, my traumatized wife needed a break so we went ahead and took a pre-surgery planned vacation to Hawaii--with my cardiologist's approval. Just in case, we took one of our adult kids with us. I tripped on some stairs and fell the second day there. Cut my head and since I was on warfarin, I bled like a slasher movie. Got a ride to the hospital with some terrific EMT's, a clear cat scan, and over 30 stitches. I spent the rest of the week on the balcony overlooking the Kona bay. With two black eyes and a bandaged head, I looked a little tough. My wife and son just kept saying--"it isn't that bad, just don't look in the mirror."
I made slow but steady improvement from there. I was able to work out more until I could teach some classes and train a few very supportive people.
This July, 2015, I started to have joint problems and bursitis/capsulitis of the hip. My legs were swelling up with pitted edema. It seemed to get worse no matter what I did. Lots of blood tests and xrays and a leg scan for clots showed me to be in perfect health. Docs told me my heart sounded like I'd never had a problem or had a valve replacement.
Best diagnosis ended up being venous insufficiency that was causing the edema and the joint inflammation was probably also related to that. Seems my body is having trouble adjusting to having a healthy heart since it has been dealing with the weak one for a long time. That seems understandable. Going to PT, managing the pain, and doing everything I can to keep my circulation happy and healthy. Doc says I will probably have to deal with this the rest of my life.
Teaching some gentle yoga classes with a cane to some very tolerant people. They give me so much love and support I should pay them for showing up. Since I have a bovine valve I both "om" and "moo".
I affirm daily that my future is bright with new possibilities and I move forward with grace and ease. I continue to improve and things just get better and better.
It is now January 2016. I am still fighting legs that don't work--frozen hip and swollen joints. Slowly getting better. Have developed now possible atrial flutter and my cardiologist wants me to go back on warfarin. I'm not going to do it. I discussed it with my primary and realized I need a break from doing things to not die and instead I need to concentrate on doing the things I love to do that make me feel alive.
Also, have to confess I'm back on Cymbalta for the leg pain and depression. Never thought my recovery would take this long or that I would dive down the cardiac depression hole. I still have some shortness of breath taking the stairs and shoveling snow. Hoping that is going to keep improving.
Truly grateful to be alive but still crave what I consider a normal life.
Update 12/13/17
Life goes on. I'm still working at the gym but don't know for how long. I turn 65 this month. Last Cardiology appointment revealed I have Diastolic Congestive Heart Failure. It is a mixed bag wanting to know why you feel the way you do and then having to face the reality that you still have a chronic condition without a cure.
(A year ago in February I also got my hip replaced. Amazing to be free of that pain but I'm still working to improve my mobility.)
I think one of the major things I have learned is that having a life-threatening illness and major surgeries changes all your relationships. I wish I could've prepared the people around me better but am so grateful for the "cheerleaders" I have pushing me to keep on keeping on.
More Info About Me & My Heart
More About Me
-
I am from:
Malaga, Washington
-
My surgery date is:
October 14, 2014
-
I was diagnosed with:
Aortic Stenosis
-
My surgery was:
Aortic Valve Replacement
Pacemaker Implant
