Ellie's Guestbook

ellie, i am also a caregiver. i do often wish i could trade places with my son. i’d do it in a second.  you’ve had a lot in a very short time. and no time to prepare. keep focused: you have had great doctors. and technology is so much better than even 10 yrs ago. everyday there are advances. eventually, you might find this gives you perspective. others won’t understand but maybe some things aren’t as important, you might look at  things a little differently.  someone urged me to get my son into cardiac rehab mainly bc they keep an eye on mental  health. and that i should get counseling for trauma-bc that’s what it is!  glad you found this group!

Hi Ellie. I'm so sorry to hear what you have been through. Being a caregiver can be much harder than being a patient. I had triple valve surgery almost 10 years ago (at age 53) and have been on warfarin since then as I have 2 mechanical valves. I was very nervous my first year but now I don't think about taking anticoagulants. I just do it. I eat everything in moderation, I haven't changed my lifestyle, I have a blood test about once a month and manage my own dose of medication. This all took time and it's very scary at first but then you move forward and it becomes just something you do. In a perfect world all of this would not have happened but after an initial period things smooth out. Of course that is easy to say now, as I had a long recovery from surgery and was exhausted and in discomfort for months and then went into depression for a few months. It's a big deal - heart surgery - and even bigger for someone who has an emergency as your husband did. And even bigger for those around the patient as I said earlier. It will take time to get over the shock and to find a new normal. Take care of yourself, Ellie.

What a scary experience and unpleasant way to spend Christmas. I’m so glad he came through it ok.  I don’t have expertise with the warfarin, but many here do and have gone on to live happy, healthy, fulfilled lives. Educating yourself is a good step in combatting the anxiety as you support and care for him…this group and site is a great resource. My brother had OHS/MVR when he was 45. His wife made a chart for all the things (meds, measurements, exercises, spirometer, etc.). It was something she could control and that really helped with her anxiety. It also was a tool that his teenage kids could use as they helped him and dealt with their own anxiety. 

Don’t hesitate to reach out to this group with any questions or struggles. They really are happy to help. 
❤️‍🩹